Mon Weekend à Paris En Bus

A last minute decision to join my cousin in Paris meant two choices. Pay £180 for the Eurostar or £42 by bus. I chose to save the cash and partake on an intrepid adventure.

So it's Friday night and I'm among the huddled masses at Victoria Coach Station. At 10.20pm we're allocated our buses and instantly there is a frenzied battle for the best seats. I scored one at the front with full view of bugs smeared over the windscreen. The lady next to me painted her nails as people boarded the bus.

Most of the passengers were French and not the type I'm used to seeing while travelling. The bus driver did'nt make any English announcements. He looked like a giant schoolteacher trapped in the 80s.

The journey to Paris was not as bad as it could be imagined. At the Eurotunnel, two French policemen got on board and took everyone's passports. They disappeared for twenty minutes and returned them stamped without even a cursory glance at the photos inside or the person they passed them onto.

The bus was then stopped for forty minutes and I had no idea why we were waiting. Other vehicles were queuing behind us. By 2 am, I was thinking: "why can't we drive through this tunnel already?"

The bus eventually moved into what looked like an oversized train. It was surreal, like entering the Enterprise. That's when I realised the Eurotunnel is actually a trainline that carries traffic under the Channel. After 35 minutes of gentle rocking, the train opened and we were in Calais. Once we hit the motorway, the driver floored it and we arrived 45 minutes earlier than scheduled. I did'nt get much sleep but that was expected. It was still a fun eye-opening experience.

Paris was fabulous. I took my cousin to my favourite places. Highlights were Angelina's for life-changing hot chocolate and La Nouvelle Epoque for traditional French cuisine. I demolished two baskets of artesian freshly baked bread with garlic butter escargots. I'm proud to have interacted with the staff only in French!

The non-food highlight was the long walk from Anvers to the Seine, stopping at the famous landmarks along the way. The weather was perfectly warm and sunny.

I stayed in a hostel near the Sacre Cour. You can see it from the window.

On Sunday we visited the Richard Lenoir farmer's markets. Possibly the best fresh food market in Paris. The produce is so good, I bought four huge red grapefruit for only two euros and carted them back to London!

The return home was a struggle. After an bewildering 1 hour wait for the bus, I got into a row with a staff member when I asked about the delay. I think my first mistake was speaking English. She kept repeating that I had to get my boarding pass from downstairs and when I finally showed her mine as proof that I was'nt bothering her for a boarding pass, she yelled at me to talk to someone downstairs anyway.

No one knew why the bus was late but we had to trust that it would show up. It did and it was a not so pleasant ride home. There was extra traffic and we got kicked off the bus twice to go through French and UK border controls.

I'm returning to Paris in December and I'm definitely taking the Eurostar.

Boujour from Paris, dah-lings!