A Newbie's Guide To The Ministry Of Sound

Many of my friends are at the Tomorrowland festival this weekend which had a few of us feeling left out and sad! So Dash Berlin at the Ministry of Sound was the substitute for those left behind. 

For anyone who has'nt been to MOS before, here are a few tips:

1) The club opens at 10.30pm so go early if you want to avoid long queues. Things get busy quickly. You will definitely queue and it will suck. Don't be fooled by what you see on the street. That's just the first queue where your ID is checked. The second is a security check and the third, you actually go inside to buy tickets or exchange online tickets. (Online tickets get you in a faster street queue.)

2) There is a cloak room but for a quick exit, carry the bare essentials in a small cross body bag and don't bring a cardi/jacket if you can in summer. In winter, you have no choice. Use the cloak room and I mean it. I can't tell you how many idiots I've seen who are too cheap and they look (and probably feel) ridiculous dancing with a jacket on.

3) The clientele are mixed however most are in their twenties. You will see a few in their 40s. Ladies be aware The Loft and The 103 dancefoors are pick-up pits after 1 am. You can't dance for 2 minutes without some guy trying to be your "private dancer".

4) I can't stress this enough-bring quality earplugs. Like in all nightclubs, they are loud and no matter how much of a good time you're having, it's not worth hearing damage. The Box gets so loud, your heart rattles from the vibration. You will still hear more than enough with ear plugs but if you forget, ask the bar staff as they will give them to you for free (but they won't be as good as Mack's earplugs).

5) For non-drinkers the bar staff are happy to give you tap water if you ask for it. If the 103 bar is really busy, go to The Loft to get drinks.

6) For the ladies who want to dance, don't wear high heels. You will be in pain and the floor gets sticky/nasty in The Box. Wear dress sneakers or Cons.

So back to my night. The dance floor was packed by the time Dash Berlin came on. There was a constant procession of people trying to get closer to the stage. Or even more annoyingly, people would stop and stand with their backs in your face. It was like a sauna, powered by the body heat and sweat from hundreds of people. 

There was no room to move so I danced behind the huge speakers. A guy helped me get on top of them so I could take pics (and risk tinnitus). It's a painful drop if you lose your footing, although you get an unobscured view and breathing space!

I got off to say goodbye to my friends before leaving. It was sweet the same guy helped me back onto the floor. 

It was my first cab from MOS and it was a pleasant trip home. I recognised my driver was Lithuanian (a skill learnt from flat sharing) and we chatted as we drove through  central London. We went over Westminster bridge, past Big Ben and there were no pedestrians around. It was unusually tranquil for a big city. 

We drove past Buckingham Palace where I hadn't been back to since I was a tourist five years ago. To see it as a Londoner without anyone in sight felt like a stroll in the neighbourhood.

As we pulled into my street, I saw the sun was coming up just like three weeks ago when I was in Croatia for UMF.

I got to bed and it felt like I had woken from a good dream. That's how quickly the night went. Going to MOS is a sensory experience. A night of dancing, chaos and going out of the ordinary.